Donna Rose Stewart

Trust Opens the Door to Love by Donna Rose Stewart

I always thought the development of trust had to do with trust in God. But for me it wasn’t about that, as I always had within me a deep Knowing/Union with God and a faith that could move mountains. That is until, somewhere along the way, the trust I lost was in myself…

I’ve spent many long years trying to understand the meaning and validity of the statement, “God always enters into equal partnerships.” And finally, I began to understand it when I realized that I didn’t TRUST MYSELF! I didn’t trust myself in basically any area of my life as I constantly second guessed everything I thought, felt, said and did… But mostly I didn’t trust myself to use the Gifts bestowed upon me by Source (God/ALL THAT IS). I didn’t trust that I could handle what all that meant or the challenges it brought my way.

I came to understand that if we don’t trust ourselves, God can’t work/flow through us no matter how much we trust Him. God doesn’t want us giving our power (which he gave us as a gift) over to some vague idea of destiny, fate, or what we think we’re supposed to do or be. God intended us to think for ourselves and make our own decisions, which is why He gave us free will.

I realized that I had been trying to have a co-dependent relationship with God… instead of standing up, owning who I am and having the co-creative relationship He created me to have with Him. I kept collapsing myself into that union, not trusting myself to make a single decision “on my own” – without being told what to do or getting permission or approval first.

Then I understood that this is what it means “to leave home.” It means trusting myself (and God) enough to know that I have the spiritual basis, development and tools needed to “go out into the world” and make wise decisions and take appropriate actions! It means taking responsibility for myself in a co-creative relationship with God, rather than expecting God to make all my decisions for me. It means “growing up” into the mature Being God intends me to Be.

Trust opens the door to Love, I discovered. When I acknowledged and accepted that I could, indeed, TRUST MYSELF, there stood the LOVE (which was there all along) that I’d worked so failingly hard to have for myself!

Copyright © 2012 Donna Rose Stewart, All rights reserved.

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This morning, I actually allowed myself the luxury of  loudly and dynamically expressing my anger to an “empty” room! It felt GREAT and there was a shift in my body, a releasing of blocked, stagnant, stuck energy. Insights and realizations followed as I acknowledged that I don’t allow myself the space to even breathe (metaphorically speaking). I’m always telling myself how to act, how to feel, how to be – while judging, criticizing and condemning myself at every turn… instead of just Being.

I acknowledged that I have no clue who I am in this world… only who I have been and who I have told myself to be and who I think other people need me to be… WOW! And this raises the question that begs to be answered, “What part of me is it that controls me so!? What part of me is it that keeps me so blind… and stuck… and lonely?

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“You are the Will of God. Do not accept anything else as your will, or you are denying what you are. Deny this and you will attack, believing you have been attacked. But see the Love of God in you, and you will see it everywhere because it is everywhere.”

-A Course in Miracles

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“Our true nature–mysterious, ungraspable, ever present, and eternally awake–has no preferences for anything or anyone to be different from the way it is. It doesn’t, resist, judge, pick and choose, but rather welcomes each moment just as it is. It is the light behind all perceptions, the energy that drives all manifestation; it’s empty, yet ever aware, and it’s one and inseparable from what is–another facet of the precious jewel of the undivided! No matter what you do or don’t do, seek or don’t seek, believe or don’t believe, you can never get closer or farther away; it’s who you already are, nearer and more intimate than breath itself.” -Stephan Bodian

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If God be FOR us, who can be against us!

-drs

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Be Still &
Know God
Is With You
God IS Indeed
Within You
You Are Indeed
In God
You Are of
The Very
Fabric of God
Essence
Source
Light
Love
Joy

-drs

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